I live in Las Vegas, and yes, I do like going down to the Strip to gamble at the casinos once in a while.  It’s a fun way to pass a weekend afternoon, and besides, I keep my play money well within my budget.

My sister and I showing off our penny slot winnings

If you’ve never lived in Las Vegas, though, you don’t realize how two-sided the place can be.  On the one hand, the locals are extremely friendly and polite.  You don’t really feel like you’re living in Vegas when you’re bumming around off-Strip.  It’s just a really hot city with a lot of casinos.

The tourists on the Strip, though, are something else entirely.  Of course, some people are polite and fun, but others are just downright awful and rude.  I’ve had one woman curse at me for sitting at a slot machine she wanted (I was there first).  I’ve had a guy call me names because I sat down on the tram and there wasn’t room for him (and he cut in line in order to get on the tram in the first place).  These people really make me angry, and both times, I told these people to their face that they were out of line.  And both times, it only made the situation worse with rising tempers and more name calling.

I’ve come to realize that trying to let these people know how rude they are only makes them more rude and puts a damper on my entire evening.  I can’t change their behavior directly, but I can change how I react to the situation.  On one hand, I could remove myself from the situation if I wanted, but that’s a drastic last step.  I love going to the Strip, and I don’t want one person to ruin it for me.  Instead, I can learn to ignore these people’s rude behavior and accept it as part of the price for visiting a tourist trap.  Or I can be polite and charming back at them, which is usually more effective at disarming disgruntled people than more grumpiness.

This example applies to teamwork, too, when you have to deal with the same people in the same situations every day.  You can’t really expect to change a co-worker’s behavior, but you can work on your reaction, which sometimes can positively affect theirs.  When faced with an uncomfortable situation, have you ever tried to talk to that person directly in an upfront, honest way, but without malice?  How about trying a positive attitude?  Or show them how their behavior affects the team?

It’s true, you can’t change other people.  I firmly believe that.  But how you act can either reinforce or negate someone else’s behavior.  It’s up to you to decide how you’ll handle a situation, even if someone else is handling it poorly.

-Deborah Fike

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