Let’s face it, we all need mentors.  Even the most brilliant self-learner can be taught a thing or too by a Master.  A mentor’s insight gives us the ability to try new problem solving techniques and slowly improve our skills over time, with the critical eye of someone who’s “been there, done that.”

The thing is, we can all be mentors.  Even if you’re the “new guy,” you probably have experience in a skill that someone else on the team wants.  Here are a few tips on how to be a successful mentor that I hope you will bring to your team.

Give equal criticism AND praise

In order for something to improve, they need two things.  First, they need to know what they are doing wrong.  Second, they need to know they are not total idiots and will improve over time.  If you don’t dole out equal criticism and praise, you run the risk of either tearing someone down or puffing them up, respectively.

Schedule times to sync up, even informally

Mentorship can’t be managed haphazardly.  If you’re mentoring well one day, but then don’t mentor for six weeks, it’s hardly worth the effort.  Make sure to meet with your “pupil” one-on-one at regular intervals.  This does not mean you have to schedule it in your calendar (and in fact, that can intimidate some).  Just dropping by a desk or giving a call to chat can give you the opportunity to see how people are doing.

Be critical of yourself

Too often, supposed mentors give advice that make them look good.  (e.g. My brilliant sales pitch saved the CEO and won the biggest account the company ever had.)  This can be interpreted as arrogance or worse, just plain lies.  It’s better, anyway, to talk about how you made a mistake and then how you learned from it.  This will not only make you easy to identify with, it also reinforces that it’s okay to make mistakes (as long as you learn something from it).

Don’t present advice as black and white

Although appealing on the surface, presenting a situation as black or white, or X + Y = Z rarely works in the real world.  When you deal with human beings, there are countless shades of gray that you can interrupt differently in various situations.  Instead, give rules of thumb that can be broken, or better yet, show how to apply different approaches to the same problem.  It’s like “teaching a man to fish,” instead of throwing salmon at him all day.

Listen

Remember that as a mentor, the topic isn’t really about you, it’s about the other gal.  You’re not an “advice dispenser,” you’re a human being.  Listen to your pupils and open your mind to the fact that you’ll probably learn something too.

Got any other tips on how to be like Obi Wan?  Jedi Tales are welcome below.

-Deborah Fike

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